Healing, Power, Deliverance, Freedom
For a long time I felt so unworthy of life and happiness. I struggled with how I felt about myself. That includes my appearance and my body. I struggled by trying to fit in to a certain group of people. I wanted perfect grades and a 4.0 GPA. I was a typical girl. I wanted to be society's definition of beautiful and smart. Little did I know all this worry and stress about my image would lead me down a road I had no idea existed.
HEALING
This is where my story begins with slowing realizing God's plan. Junior year of high school was hard for me. The ACT was coming up. EOC was coming up. I wanted to have a perfect score on all of these. I started to develop anxiety about these tests. I started to get anxious during classes. I was worried about what if I didn't understand the material. I got to the point where I couldn't stand being in a classroom. I remember calling my mom most days upset. She would ask me what was wrong. I couldn't answer. I remember my first ever anxiety attack. I was in third period with one of my favorite teachers. I walked up to her desk and remember barely being able to tell her what was going on. She knew though. I sat in the hall with her. She sat out there while I suffered through something I still didn't understand at the time. A couple of weeks later I stopped eating. Shortly after that I passed out and got sent to the ER. This is where I was diagnosed with anxiety. This is also where I felt a wake up call. If I kept letting the stress get to me and continued not to eat that it would have a very bad outcome. You may be asking what does this have to do with God? Well this is only part of the healing part. He showed me that I didn't need to go down this path. I didn't see it then but HE was showing me I had a future. He was healing me and showing me that I had no reason for all this anxiety.
POWER
This is probably the hardest part. I never wanted to go to a doctor for this kind of thing. I didn't want to be put on "crazy meds". I tried for weeks with the guidance of family and friends to fight without medication. I made stress balls that I would carry around everywhere. I started to try yoga. Nothing seemed to really make it go away. I had to end up taking medication. Yes. I admit I turned to what most people consider a big no. Honestly, it was the best thing for me. Right away it didn't help but slowing I started to see the effects. It made me a little bit calmer and able to make it through a whole day at school. I was worried about people finding out. I feel as though God wants me to share this. I know there is people out there that are in the same situation. You just need the power of God and the strength to fight. He is giving me the power to share my testimony.
DELIVERANCE
I finally found my happiness again. I got to do stuff that I never dreamed of doing my junior year. I sat through my whole graduation and didn't have an anxiety attack. I went to my senior prom. God blessed me my senior year with a life I could have only dreamed of. He can do amazing things. He will deliver. He brought me people that supported me and helped me in my difficult time. You may not see His ultimate plan in the beginning but He will bring you out stronger. He will deliver.
FREEDOM
I never truly saw God's plan until He brought me the Smithville First Assembly Of God. I never knew what feeling at home meant with church. The amount of love everyone has for God in that room is overwhelming. It is something you never felt before. I felt free. I was able to worship how I wanted to. I could walk in the door and feel comfort instead of nervousness. He brought me freedom by putting me through these test. He made me stronger through the difficult times. He is showing me what I need and don't need in my life. I am starting to feel worthy. I have freedom again.
I want to thank all my family at my church. You all have made me feel so loved and like I have found a home.
With Love,
K
HEALING
This is where my story begins with slowing realizing God's plan. Junior year of high school was hard for me. The ACT was coming up. EOC was coming up. I wanted to have a perfect score on all of these. I started to develop anxiety about these tests. I started to get anxious during classes. I was worried about what if I didn't understand the material. I got to the point where I couldn't stand being in a classroom. I remember calling my mom most days upset. She would ask me what was wrong. I couldn't answer. I remember my first ever anxiety attack. I was in third period with one of my favorite teachers. I walked up to her desk and remember barely being able to tell her what was going on. She knew though. I sat in the hall with her. She sat out there while I suffered through something I still didn't understand at the time. A couple of weeks later I stopped eating. Shortly after that I passed out and got sent to the ER. This is where I was diagnosed with anxiety. This is also where I felt a wake up call. If I kept letting the stress get to me and continued not to eat that it would have a very bad outcome. You may be asking what does this have to do with God? Well this is only part of the healing part. He showed me that I didn't need to go down this path. I didn't see it then but HE was showing me I had a future. He was healing me and showing me that I had no reason for all this anxiety.
POWER
This is probably the hardest part. I never wanted to go to a doctor for this kind of thing. I didn't want to be put on "crazy meds". I tried for weeks with the guidance of family and friends to fight without medication. I made stress balls that I would carry around everywhere. I started to try yoga. Nothing seemed to really make it go away. I had to end up taking medication. Yes. I admit I turned to what most people consider a big no. Honestly, it was the best thing for me. Right away it didn't help but slowing I started to see the effects. It made me a little bit calmer and able to make it through a whole day at school. I was worried about people finding out. I feel as though God wants me to share this. I know there is people out there that are in the same situation. You just need the power of God and the strength to fight. He is giving me the power to share my testimony.DELIVERANCE
I finally found my happiness again. I got to do stuff that I never dreamed of doing my junior year. I sat through my whole graduation and didn't have an anxiety attack. I went to my senior prom. God blessed me my senior year with a life I could have only dreamed of. He can do amazing things. He will deliver. He brought me people that supported me and helped me in my difficult time. You may not see His ultimate plan in the beginning but He will bring you out stronger. He will deliver.
FREEDOM
I never truly saw God's plan until He brought me the Smithville First Assembly Of God. I never knew what feeling at home meant with church. The amount of love everyone has for God in that room is overwhelming. It is something you never felt before. I felt free. I was able to worship how I wanted to. I could walk in the door and feel comfort instead of nervousness. He brought me freedom by putting me through these test. He made me stronger through the difficult times. He is showing me what I need and don't need in my life. I am starting to feel worthy. I have freedom again.
I want to thank all my family at my church. You all have made me feel so loved and like I have found a home.
With Love,
K
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